Day 5-So.....

I'm about to say fuck my knee and hit the treadmill for a jog...

I know that doesn't sound wise, but I'm going semi crazy.

If I workout I feel good,
If I feel good, I eat good,
If I eat good, I look good.

and because I have not worked out to my fulfillment none of the following happen. There is a little voice telling me in my head to not to try and jog. There is another voice in my head telling me to "yeah whatever, fuck it, you can still walk right."

But I'm not tryna end up immobile either. damnit. I have to figure out what I'm going to do for another week until I go to the doctor.

Shi

Day 4-Mental Setback

I was the the gym working and knew I could work out..but, simply did not want to. My knee was aching pretty bad and I am sincerely frustrated.
1. My doctor appointment isn't until next Friday -_- (i'm not patient at all)
2. If I can't go hard I don't want to go at all.

Going from lifting so much weight and weight training regularly to not doing much, not even cardio!!! because of the tracking in my knee is really a bummer. I'm happy I can walk and jump (but pain comes with that).

The only workout I did yesterday was walk...and that isn't good enough.

I have to exert cardio-like energy in order to be fulfilled from my workout. If I don't do that I don't feel like I'm not doing anything.

I had 3 pieces of candy yesterday bite-sized toffee like...yeah. I did it. I also ate sweet potato fries with cheese, tomatoes, and steak topping them all and I felt like many I had too many carbs and not enough protein yesterday.

The days continue....

Shi

Day 3-Progress

I Did It....yeah, okay. 

So today I had to hike to the grocery store. They shut down the grocery store within walking distance so I have to travel downtown to get groceries and ride crowded public transportation to get home.

I lugged my suitcase downtown while making errands and then went grocery shopping after work. This wouldn't be such a big deal if the snow wasn't so yucky and slippery and it wasn't freezing outside. Anyway, I got it done but I was exhausted when I got home. I managed to do a small workout at home, shower, and go to bed.

I feel like there isn't much cardio I can do without feeling like I am messing something up even more in my knee. I have a doctor's appointment next week, but my patience is wearing thin. Every exercise I do is either on the floor (planks, pushups) or simply arm related. I just feel empty like I'm not doing enough. I don't see how I can get the results I want by feeling like I'm doing the bare minimum.

Yesterday I had some cheese-itz and I'm trying to stay away from enriched wheat flour.
Today I had corn chips which are healthier, but they make me feel a little bloated so I only eat a few now.

i've noticed I haven't been able to digest meat very well and I have no idea why. Maybe the chicken I'm cooking is too dry or something.

Anyway. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Day 2- Intro to Rehab

Recovery to Strengthen the Mind and Body

I basically need to relearn how to walk and bend with proper alignment. I bought some insoles for my arches today (which involved me walking in -12 degree weather omg. 

I received a reminder yesterday from a trainer that weight training rips your muscles and nutrition helps them recover. I knew this, but hearing it from someone else really made me think that me "taking it easy on my leg" for two weeks with no training at all could have possibly been a better experience if I exercised other parts of my body and ate clean. Instead I splurged and basically said "I'll get back on track when I get back to the city and settled." That was for about two weeks. He also reminded me that I'm too young to have problems with my knees like this...and it's because I haven't been taking care of my body. I've been strictly weight training with small amounts of cardio, no versatility in my way of training (not including a significant amount of pilates or yoga), and not eating completely clean. 

So yesterday night I meal prepped! Making an effort to prep my own food so I can stay on track helps me stay more committed. I also called my Hot Yoga studio and asked them to put my unlimted class package on hold until I heal up because I will fix this. I'm honestly not sure exactly if I will get my full flexibility back in my right leg, but I have faith that I can make my circumstances a bit better and reduce my chances of making it worse. I'll give it a month. If it's not getting better then I will go see a doctor. I don't wana waste my money if I can fix this myself. 

Today I:
-walked on the treadmill for 45minutes focusing on a way to walk that doesn't make my knee click or ache 
-a series of plank exercises 
-every pilates hip strengthening exercise I could think of (arcs, pulses, figure 8s)

The hardest thing right now is accepting that I need to take care of my body and there is no way around it. I've realized weight training is my passion and a true love of mine. Simply exercising is awesome as well, but weight training is what makes me truly feel like a better person. I have decided to weight train my lower body for about a month and just stick to body weight and slight resistance training (eventually). I opted out of hot yoga for now because I have a tendency to overstretch my muscles all the time. Until I can be responsibly aware of my movements I'm going to rehab this out. 

#faithanddedication
Shi

Day 1-How Yesterday Went

CurveBall!!!

Nothing went according to planned...why? My knee :(

I visited the physical therapist for a free consultation and we (well, I did) that I'm having an alignment issue. Let's go down the list of things that could have possibly contributed to this and now it is affecting me in the long run:
-deadlifting in nike airs (wasn't informed that I should do it barefoot instead) 
-standing awkwardly for about 7years of my life and a contorted "looks like I have to pee" position (it was so comfortable
-strain in my hamstring from Hot Yoga last year that I never let fully heal
-overcompensating when I pulled my other hamstring 
-being born completely flat foot (thought it was okay and since I was born that way it shouldn't be an issue) 
-not stretching my ankles and feet adequately over the years as a dancer, baby yogi, and martial artist
-not taking dance classes last semester

So the thing that made the most sense to me was when ankle hurts it's usually something wrong with your knee. If it's your knee then it's your hip. The other thing I learned was that when your knees track over your toes it is supposed to be over your third and fourth toe..not your big toe. Nobody told me this in my entire life.


So I need to strengthen the muscles around my knee, hip, and ankle, and stretch my feet better (because I've been having pain there too). So I went home and figured out a new plan. 

#imnotgivingup
Shi

Random but Relatable

My dream is to open my own gym. 

It will be very unique (I cannot disclose the uniqueness because the idea is not copyrighted). I was just blogging thinking of all the people who complain about the fact eating healthy is not affordable. I have figured out that there are ways to get around this at the grocery store, but what about eating out healthy?

Now, that is expensive.
Every healthy cafe I walk into the prices are a bit pricey so I want to have a cafe with my gym that will be affordable. If it is a success I will eventually have something in comparison to McDonald's prices *crosses fingers*. I have no idea how I will pull this off, but I know if I want it that bad…I will make it happen. 

Dreaming,

Shi

Obstacles? Excuses? Over Planning? I have no idea, but it won't stop me.

This is happening….
I absolutely love planning, but for some reason I tend to over plan and begin to stress myself out. 

These are some questions that I need to answer before I start though because I'm afraid they won't fall into place. What am I afraid of, right? 
Well I know I won't fail. 
I'm not giving up.
I will get what I said I was going to get done. 
Nothing will stop me. 
I will give it my all this month. 
So what am I over thinking?

The food part!!!! I feel like this will probably be the biggest challenge for me. See, I can cook the basics of a healthy hearty meal, but I must admit my taste buds get sick of bland food really fast. I used to rely on salt a lot and I'm trying to steer clear. So I'm trying to figure out
1. When will I meal prep?
2. How am I going to stay committed to getting groceries in Chicago winters without a car?
3. What the hell am I going to cook? 

Okay….woosahhh. 
1. I will be at my boyfriend's lair from Fri evening to Sunday. This means I need to meal prep on Thursday night for the following seven days. I can put my meals in plastic bags (weekends) containers (of the week) and keep staple snacks in my gym bag (nuts, fruit, tuna pack, oatmeal packets, rice cakes, carrot&celery baggies). 

2. I'm going to look into getting a zip card membership so I can go to the grocery store less throughout the month and not have to lug my groceries as far. 

3. My mother has this book called "the 2day diet." Although I am not very fond of the title and have no interest in losing weight they have easy and quick healthy recipes that provide all its nutritional facts as well. The first thing NEW I am going to make is a walnut-crusted chicken breast with basil sauce. I will make a some rosemary balsamic vinaigrette for a very basic salad that I have not come up with yet. The book gives recipes, with grocery lists, nutritional facts, and a food log. Seems like great place to start. 

My boyfriend has agreed to help me stay on track with breakfast on the weekends and I will stick to my eggs, oatmeal, and fruit in the morning during the week. 

Okay….I can do this. 

I am going to keep a personal journal for myself with what I eat?…wait, is that really going to help me though? I have tried this before and I did not stick with it. Maybe if I write what I eat down it would help me stay more accountable for what I eat? okay….yeah…no. A specific food journal isn't for me. I'd rather just use this blog to keep track of my days. Any obstacles I face throughout the day, any changes, or challenges I encounter will be logged here. I write enough about my feelings on paper already. Why not share my fitness journey with the world.

Honesty Time:
When I picked up that book that I will be using for simple recipes I got a bit overwhelmed. I got a bit wrapped up thinking about the fact I have to make all this stuff and then I realized I was making it super difficult. I would meal prep basic foods all the time. Reading this book just made me want to do it "the right way." The thing is…everybody's body is different. What is right for me won't necessarily be right for someone else. I have to trial and error. Writing this all out really has helped tremendously though. I will dominate this….and I will get discipline my food habits.
….I'm admitting not admitting that I eat a lot of candy when it's sitting around me so it is forbidden in my house. I just have to put forth extra effort when I'm not in my house.

Determined Lady,
Shi